An Interesting 24 Hours

The last 24 hours of my life is comprised of a lot of regular day to day events because typically my life is pretty lame. For some reason I got lucky and have had 3 not so common events (none of which are the death of Paul Walker) take place in the last 24 hours. I'll start with last night.

1) I celebrated a mans 100th birthday! ONE HUNDRED YEARS, he has been alive! This in itself is amazing but this mans vitality is the real wonder. He still lives on his own, drives, makes homemade boats and sleds, goes clamming and so many other things that a lot of people my age don't do. He is an amazing man and I was honored to be able to be a part of his surprise birthday party.I was the most epic birthday party I have ever attended and I would be surprised if anything ever tops it!

Imagine 600+ people who know and love you singing you Happy Birthday on your 100th birthday! Amazing! That's a life to be proud of.

2) I went out for nachos and beers with my friends and ended up at the hospital. It was nothing serious but not my typical Saturday night. I was sitting down, hanging out with all of a sudden I got hit with severe chest pain and it wouldn't go away. After about 15 minutes and no relief my friends took me to the hospital (I know - Im such a buzzkill) - mostly because it was scaring the shit out of me. By the time I got there I was feeling better just shaken up. They figure it was either stress or reflux. 

It all started with a couple of Alabama Slammers lol 

The funniest part of the night was the doctor asking if he could feel my stomach and him trying to get under my many layers - 2 layers of dress, slip, tights and spanx - good work Doc! He then decided that my bladder was tender and made me pee in a cup. As I mentioned I had been drinking before this so me trying to pee in a cup with a buzz-on was quite a show. He notified me that I have perfect urine (I'm taking it as a compliment) and I was sent home. What a night. 

3) I got a shout out on a french radio station this afternoon. This is both interesting and hilarious to me because I don't speak french.. like I really don't speak french. I met a guy on POF who has a french radio station and I said I'd listen but I wouldn't understand. He was nice enough to give me a shout out or 2 though which was very sweet and a bit funny to me. It's not everyday a total stranger gives you a shout out on a radio station you don't even understand. Merci beaucoup ;)

Never a dull moment, people, never.

What is something out of the ordinary that happened to you in the past 24 hours? Or ever? 

Big Love,

Bailey 

POF Gem Of The Day

Sometimes you get introductory messages on POF that make you say, "Really?!...like REALLY?!" Some examples are

"                                             "Nice rack".... Hello to you, too, sir!

"Wanna fck"..... No, I'm good, thanks though. I'll be sure to give you or one of the other 100 users who asked me that today a shout when I decide I'm up for it. 

"Do you like anal?".....Excuse me?

And then you get a gem like this........

DA FUQ?! Who asks that?! 34 year old virgins from Maine, apparently. 

FUCK OFF. 

Big love,

Bailey. 

Startin' From The Bottom

I'm feeling hella philosophical today - all kinds of wise thoughts floating through my head right now, it's ridiculous. Bare with me.

The past two months have been huge for me. I've had many eye openers, learning experiences and general personal growth in the past few months even though it may seem like I have absolutely nothing figured out. The event that got the ball rolling was going to California. Yes, this has to do with Mark but going to California also let me step away from my life and work situation and analyze it with a clear mind and a new perspective.

I went to California hoping for an awesome time with Ashley and closure with Mark. I found both of these things but came home with so much more. I finally felt like I was standing up to someone who had been abusive to me and although it sounds a little crazy coming out of my mouth - I felt powerful again and I felt I had regained my voice and I wasn't afraid to feel anything or say anything anymore because I wasn't scared of losing anything or anyone anymore. This experience was huge for me and verbalizing so many of the things that I had felt over the past year with him was therapeutic and awesome.

The realization of the power I had over my own life and the power I had over the shitty situations in my life is a large part of removing myself from other abusive situations and people and also a part of quitting my job. Another personal relationship of mine recently ended and although it's sad and I'm hurt, I also know that this relationship was soon to start taking a negative toll on me and was not going anywhere healthy. I am sad for my loss but have found solace in knowing it's most likely for the best.

Although it may seem to people that my life is askew (and you'd be totally right ), for me it feels like my life is coming together in a way. Personal growth is as good as any other kind, whether it's financial or professional or what have you, and I feel as though by things falling apart, they are coming together. I have found so much clarity lately and it feels great. No - I don't have a full time job now, No I'm not in a relationship but sometimes not having those things is better than having those things and them negatively affecting your life.

So I'm startin' from the bottom again but it's exciting and not knowing what's next is half the fun. It's important for me to keep myself surrounded by people who make my life better and I'm beyond blessed to have so many of those people. Life may not be perfect but it's pretty damn good.

Big Love,
Bailey

8 POF Users I Refuse To Reply To

Plenty of Fish is a piece of shit site but I keep my account up and running with a glimmer of hope that a decent guy is looking for a decent girl who is me. I know it's not going to happen but hey - crazier things have happened, right? ....right? 

I get a lot of messages, some aren't that awful and some are ridiculous. It's been an entertaining few months using POF and it's about time I introduced you to some of the guys I won't be meeting since I've covered the guys I have already met. These are the top types of users that will not see a reply from this fisherwoman. 

The Novelist. The novelist seems sincere and to someone who isn't totally cynical he might even come off as genuine. The novel is usually their life story about love and loss, being a good guy and how much he'd like to get to know me. Lucky for me I'm cynical as fuck and all I read when I receive these novels from hell is "I copy and pasted this to every single girl I could find on POF and even some of the girls on my Facebook". Next please.

                                                              @PofFailsParody

The Trying Too Hard Guy This guy is a hoot. He is very excited about talking to you and uses tons of exclamations marks to prove it!!!!!! You have SO much in common and he is interested in all the same things you are - well at least the ones you listed on your profile. Really, John, you're interested in dancing, mini golf, travel, volunteer and volleyball? We must be soul mates.

The Car Even though there are rules about only using pictures of yourself, I still receive messages from cars and other inanimate objects pretty frequently. By this I mean that I receive messages from men who have stupid pictures or some don't have pictures at all. I almost never reply to these people because I'm human and attraction is important - chances are there is a reason you didn't post a picture and it's not because you're normal.

The Texter This guy says Hey and as soon as you reply instantly asks for your number so you can text. 3 words : DON'T DO IT! If he was cute and said something normal like "Hey, How are you?" then I reply but if his second message is about getting my number I instantly shut him down. Fuck all that. I have given out my number too early before and I won't do it again. Once they have it you can't take it back, ladies!

The HornyGuy29128 I have been messaged by multiple men who's usernames include the word horny and a series of irrelevant numbers (the most popular being 69 which happens to be relevant to them). Never will I ever even consider replying to someone with that username...ever. The obvious reason is that they're clearly looking for something that I am not providing and the just as obvious second reason because that they disgust me.

The Eager Beaver This guy barely says hello before he asks you to hang out and meet up. Maybe that is normal but not for this chick. I want to talk to you for a while, have you on fb, know you're a real person and probably hear your voice before I ever even think about meeting you. Relax, bro.

The Insecure Guy Like most people, I find confidence attractive and nothing turns me off quicker than a guy who harasses me asking if I won't reply because he's ugly/stupid/etc. I'm not replying because you are harassing me.

The Alphabet Shit Storm. This guy is just plain lazy! His username is alsdalsd and his profile is full of "asf;dg;kjfhlkjfhljalskf MESSAGE ME". Um.. no.

And without further adieu.. the absolute worst.

The Challenged Guy. Nothing makes me crazier than a guy who messages me and can barely spell his name. You don't have to actually know how to spell but you should at least have the dignity to use spellcheck - don't most computers automatically put in the squiggly red line these days? This causes me so much frustration. Also using 2 as to/too, 4 as for, U as you or any other ridiculousness will almost instantly turn me off.

There are exceptions to some of my rules. For example, if a guy with no picture sends me a message that says "Hi" I'm obviously not going to be that compelled to write back as I have nothing to be attracted to and he's immediately boring me. If a super hot guy without any 6's or 9's in his username messages me "Hi" I'm probably going to be shallow and reply. "Hi", "Hey" and "Hello" are acceptable conversation starters but I usually need something else like an interesting profile or picture to catch my attention in order for a reply to take place.

I am not the most beautiful girl in the world, or on pof, or even in this room (okay, maybe in this room since I'm alone) but I think I'm an okay catch and this post is not me being stuck up - it's me being funny and honest about the crazies I've encountered on that site. I've been lucky enough to meet some cool guys who are nice to talk to and that's better than nothing.

I have asked you to share your online dating stories with me before and I absolutely love hearing about them so please leave a comment if you have a good story about a message you received, a date you went on or if you just want to say hello!

I'm sure I'll be back with lots more tales from the POF Saga so keep an eye out.
Big Love,
Bailey

10 Reasons Life Is Currently Awesome

10. It is still not snowing - thank the lord. 

9. I get to work tomorrow for 7 whole hours. YAY WORK! 

8. I went to the gym for 3 consecutive days which is my biggest streak in over 6 months. Sad but hey.. I'm getting somewhere! 

7. I get to see a ton of my friends and celebrate the lovely Natanias birthday on Saturday. YAY

6. CHRISTMAS CAROLS EVERYWHERE!!

5. A really big, hot man messaged me today which is always the best. 

4. I get to see my niece and nephews in ONE MONTH from tomorrow!!

3. And one week later I get to see TAM! 

2. There is broccoli salad in my fridge.

1. I just won 50 bones at bingo! FUCK YAAAA. 

Life is truly good. 

What's good in your life? 

Big Love,

Bailey