push, push and push some more.

I posted on my Being Bailey Facebook Page that I was pooping my pants with excitement over something and that I would blog about it tonight. This is me keeping that promise! I am so excited.. seriously. Ask Maddy about the ridiculous texts.. I could barely contain my joy.

The big news which is not really big news to anyone besides myself is that I had a HUGE personal nsv tonight (non scale victory - check out my operation sexy bitch page for my nsvs from last week, i update every monday). For me, my self worth, my weightloss journey my fitness journey - it was a big deal and im ecstatic!

If you read my post Most Anything Is Possible about suprising myself and reaching my goal to run a 5k sooner than expected, you may know that my furthest jogging distance is 5.8k (nope, haven't passed it since then!). You can read for yourself but basically I was absolutely pleased and amazed by it. My longest time jogging without stopping is MAYBE 35 min at most which would be the time I did the 5.8k. When I left for my run tonight I told myself I was going to run atleast 40min and I was going to run 6k. I knew I could do it and I was excited!

I set off. I was surprised by how good I felt. I had been super excited about a 4k run I did Sunday that took the absolute life out of me. Yes, I struggled, but I like knowing I pushed myself andI hadn't ran a good distance in a while. It was a victory. Tonight I wanted to really push myself though but was surprised when the running was coming easier than Sunday.

Then I kept running, I kept pushing..and my sweet NSV happened. I ran SEVEN km - 60 mins straight!! SIXTY minutes. That is almost double my best run! I checked my time at 59 minutes and said - FUCK THAT - and I ran two more minutes. I feel SO good about this and so proud and SO motivated! Thats why im bragging, lol, Im PROUD of myself and I dont care if I sound like a braggity braggerson - I never ever thought I would be able to do this.

Remember this girl?

I do. I remember her, and I hear her and she is still here in my head sometimes telling me that I am the exact same person. She tells me that I can't do this, she tells me im incapable, she tells me I will never get my eating under control. She tells me I've never been successful and there is no reason to think its going to start now. But I know deep in my heart shes wrong.. I know it.

I will never be her again and I will never go back to thinking that i cant do anything, that I cant gain control of my life and my health and get healthy and turn my life around. I know now that i deserve to be happy and healthy even though it took me a LONG time to realize it.

I can do this. No matter what happens, no matter what gets in my way, no matter how long it takes me or how many times I feel like giving up I have it in me. Six months ago running 10 minutes was an achievement, a huge one and I am proud of that achievement still today. But now 60 mins is an achievement and Im going to keep pushing until I reach every single goal I set for myself.

I went from being 251lbs, barely able to run for two minutes to being 210lbs and running for 60 minutes. ANYTHING is possible and I am not stopping... not for a second.

big love,
bailey.